Away From the Su
by Azuril Noir Raine
Summary: Ishtaru songfic. he's been banished, after Yami beats him, these are his thoughts. YMYB shounen ai mentions


Away From The Sun By Azuril Noir Raine  
  
The endless dark...he knew it well. He knew it was all he'd ever know again...again...beack in the darkness and the loneliness where an already damaged soul can be ruptured and torn further beyond repairs and mending. The dark he'd always known. The sanctuary in the dark and the prison in the sanctuary. It's finally come back to this level. It's regressed to this...  
  
It's down to this  
  
How did he get to this point? How did it come to this? When did it even start? What did he do?  
  
I've got to make this life make sense Can anyone do what I've done  
  
He'd seen the life. The outside and the colors. But only during those times when it had been so tramatic...he hadn't thought that it could be any other way. How else was a spirit born from hate supposed to think? That the world was a beauty filled Eden? But he missed the colors and light. He missed the feelings and actions of others. He missed the emotions...even the pain and hurt.  
  
I miss the life I miss the colours of the world Can anyone go where I am  
  
He'd remembered it all perfectly. He would always remember it. The one feeling he enjoyed the most; the sun kissed hair of ivory slipping between his fingers. That's what he missed. He missed the feeling of the slim body, the soft hair, the sad and sweet smile, the sight of the ethereal form in the sunlight. But now he'd fallen too deep to find his sun-soaked angel. The only one who had understood him in the remotest sense. The one he clung to. The one he cried to...  
  
'Cause now again I've found myself So far down, away from the sun That shines into the darkest place I'm so far down, Away from the sun again Away from the sun again  
  
he closed his eyes as he remembered. The long nights. The long, hot nights and the passion they announced. Hot touches, soft lipss. Words that he knew were true. Words that he missed but would never forget. He wanted to hold that slim body in his arms. Caress the soft ivory hair, whipser things no one would ever hear him say. He wanted to. But he was too far down. A sod forced its way out of him. Echoing and lingering in the dark. He had been defeated and cast aside. Cast aside by the very one who had created him. The very one who he had replaced for a period of time. thrown back into a cave of darkness so deep, no one would find him. All the sensations were gone, all the smells, sounds, tastes, sights, feelings. All of them. Gone in to an abyss he would never escape. His angel was gone, unable to sooth him with a smile. What desolate corner of his own horrible making was he in? How far away was the light?  
  
I'm over this I'm tired of living in the dark Can anyone see me down here The feeling's gone There's nothing left to lift me up Back into the world I've known  
  
another sob, cold tears, more shadows, more emptiness, more loneliness, more nothingness. More time spent away from the light and sun... a fleeting memory.  
He stood by the reiling in the blimp, watching the sun rise, listening to the calmness all around him. Footsteps coming toward him made him look up and grin. An ivory angel stood there. He pulled the angel to him, stroking the white hair. "Spurring slightly at the gentle touches, "Then we can be free."  
"Freedom is trivial if I don't have you."  
"You lie." the white angel said, but when he tried to pull away, he was held fast. "No." he said, lavander eyes soft and vulnerable, "you make the sun rise. And without you, I'm too far away from the sun." he said planting light kisses on the angel's forehead, then a soft yet passionate one on the soft lips, Without you...I'm away from the sun...so far down...  
  
'Cause now again I've found myself So far down, away from the sun That shines into the darkest place I'm so far down, Away from the sun That shines to light the way for me To find my way back into the arms That care about the ones like me I'm so far down, Away from the sun again  
  
Angel... he thought, Please...onegai...help me...please... he begged, "I need to find out what it is I did wrong...what it is I need to do...to keep you..."  
  
It's down to this I've got to make this life make sense And now I can't tell what I've done  
  
Tears. They flowed freely down his face now. The darkness seemed to be closing in on him. In a way that would end it for him. Quick, and possibly painless...but not harmless...not heart-ache-less...never without hurt.  
  
And now again I've found myself So far down, away from the sun That shines the life away from me  
  
As the last breath in him came to a close, he saw his angel. The only arms that ever held him opening to welcome him. Opening to catch him. To help him back into the sune.  
  
'Cause now again I've found myself So far down, away from the sun That shines into the darkest place I'm so far down, Away from the sun That shines o light the way for me To find my way back into the arms That care about the ones like me I'm so far down, Away from the sun again 


End file.
